Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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