and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
