The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I just sharted jello shots
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
