I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
