i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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