I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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