My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize