im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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