Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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