Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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