Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
