i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
