i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
