it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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