drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Nicole vs. Life
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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