I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
