Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
be right there i have to get my cape
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
