did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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