How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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