Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
