we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize