I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
