I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize