then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
