this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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