who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
