And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
