yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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