My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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