Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i barfeds in our rink
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize