Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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