Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
