I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize