ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
