he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
