garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was confusing and full of hummus
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
