I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
