i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
