Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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