who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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