So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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