sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So vagazzling was a success
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
