he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
love makes seman taste better
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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