so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
my poor anus
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
