I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
