Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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