Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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