Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
