she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize