my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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