glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
