Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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