she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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