yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude. I can hear the air.
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