im drinking this country out of the recession.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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