My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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