I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
